Fears & Frustrations

Ellie was in DKA when she was diagnosed. We started our diabetes education over her three-day hospitalization in November 2016, but the truth is we’re still learning.

One of the first times we started to test and dose in our kitchen, Ellie burst into panicky tears. (I’d shed my share of the same.) She had just been hit with the realization that diabetes didn’t end with her hospital stay. T1D would be part of everyday life from now until there is a cure. It was somehow easier to accept T1D in a hospital setting that seemed light years away from reality and our routine.

I was afraid, too. How would we manage this 24/7? Could we keep her safe (#1 priority) while resuming  activities and giving her independence? Would we make a mistake? Would we burn out?

Having diabetes can leave us all feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and downright sad. We had a sound medical plan for managing T1D. Knowing mental and physical health are intertwined, we needed strategies to get through tough emotional times.

A few things that help us:

Think of being a person with diabetes (not a diabetic).

Diabetes doesn’t define Ellie. It is, no question, part of her life. Saying, “I’m a person with diabetes” reflects that.  It doesn’t put the diabetes first (a small–but significant—distinction).

Practice giving thanks.

Giving thanks puts our focus on blessings instead of burdens. Being grateful becomes more natural, intuitive, and ingrained the more we do it.

Focus on the reasons you’ll succeed.

Managing diabetes requires diligence and determination. It’s too easy for me to dwell on real (and imagined) pitfalls. We try to think of the reasons why we’ll succeed. We test BG regularly, we count carbs before eating, we carry supplies we need, we communicate with Ellie’s healthcare team… There are a lot of reasons why we’ll have success, and we focus on those. Quiet the creeping doubts, endless loop of worries, and inner self-criticism and replace negative thoughts with more positive ones. (In other words, don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend or loved one.)

Unplug, listen, laugh, and breathe.

It helps us to literally unplug—putting down devices and turning off TV. We try to play board games, work on a puzzle, or take a walk together. It’s easier to talk, listen, and laugh with each other when we limit competing noise. When I’m stressed and can’t step away to take a break, I try to breathe deeply, concentrating on air entering and leaving the lungs (Meditation 101).

HALT!

There’s a reason this strategy is so widely adopted. It works. When feeling “off,” check BG first and then ask yourself if you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (HALT). Ellie is the first to admit she is both sluggish and grumpy when her BG is fluctuating. There is zero fault or blame. It’s a helpful clue and cue from her body that we need to take action. Once we check BG, we take a closer look at top causes for feeling “off.” Hungry is easy to fix. If you’re angry, try to pinpoint what has you upset. Lonely? Call a friend. Talk with someone. (This seems particularly relevant during the pandemic era of working and learning from home and social distancing.) Lastly, don’t underestimate tiredness. (There is a reason why sleep deprivation is used as a torture tactic.) Fatigue can throw off your mood. Sleep can be hard to come by if you’re testing BG overnight or waking to pump alerts at all hours.

Pray.

God’s word has a profound way of encouraging us to be strong and courageous. We like to place favorite Bible passages where we can see them. An inspiring verse can lift our spirits, give us a new perspective in tumultuous times, and help us pray.

Sometimes our most heartfelt prayers are a simple “please” or “thank you.”

Hope you find a prayer, Bible passage, and/or mindset to help you face the day’s fears and frustrations.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”—Jeremiah 29:11